Random thoughts about getting old

Sent to me from a friend:

Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say, "Close enough."

Retirement to-do list:  Wake up.        -- Nailed it!

People who wonder if the glass is half empty or half full miss the point -- the glass is refillable.

I don't have grey hair.  I have wisdom highlights.

Sometimes it takes me all day to get nothing done.

I'd grow my own food if only I could find bacon seeds.

Common sense is not a gift.  It's a punishment because you have to deal with everyone who doesn't have it.

I came, I saw. I forgot what I was doing. Retraced my steps. Got lost on the way back. Now I have no idea what's going on.

If you can't think of a word, say, "I forgot the English word for it." That way people will think you're bilingual. instead of an idiot.

I don't always go the extra mile, but when I do it's because I missed my exit.

Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave the house.

It's weird being the same age as old people.

When I was a kid, I wanted to be older...  This is not what I expected.

Life is like a helicopter.  I don't know how to operate a helicopter, either.

It's probably my age that tricks people into thinking I'm and adult.

Never sing in the shower!  Singing leads to dancing/ dancing leads to slipping/ and slipping leads to paramedics seeing you naked.  So, remember ... don't sing in the shower!

We all get heavier as we get older, because there's a lot more information in our heads. 

That's my story anyway.