Showing posts with label computers are run by magic or something. Show all posts
Showing posts with label computers are run by magic or something. Show all posts

Saturday, March 15, 2014

Where's the Delete Key?

We went to Florida to visit my parents in the early 1990s -- without computers. (We didn't have laptops at that time. Were they even invented, yet?)

My computerized husband was in withdrawal.  I finally gave him a pad of paper and a pencil.
He moaned, "but where is the delete key?"

I pointed at the eraser.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Dr. Seuss Complains

(Actually the title of this piece, sent to me a long time ago by another library worker, is Dr. Seuss Explains. But my flanging fingers typed 'complains,' instead. weird.

I'm sorry that I don't know who the true author is, but since Dr. Seuss's birthday is coming up soon, I thought I'd post it now. (We need to replace the words "floppy disk" with any current means of storing computer files in order to update it.)


Dr. Seuss Explains Why Computers Sometimes Crash

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, and the bus is interrupted at a very last resort, and the access of the memory makes your floppy disk abort, then the socket packet pocket has an error to report.

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash, and the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash, and your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash, then your situation's hopeless and your system's gon'na crash!

If the label on the cable on the table at your house says the network is connected to the button on your mouse, but your packets want to tunnel to another protocol, that's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall, and your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss, so your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse; then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang, 'cuz sure as I'm a poet, that baby's gonna hang!

When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy in the disk, and the macro code instructions cause unnecessary risk, then you'll have to flash the memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM then quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your Mom!

Well............. that certainly clears things up for ME.